Grasping Reality.

Affordable trips to wherever you want to go.

2008-04-29T09:57:00.001-07:00

Decided to go on a trip for the holidays, so to get a rough estimation of the price to go the country of my choice, I scoured through the advertisements put up by the various tour agencies in the papers some time ago.

To entice potential customers to sign up a package with the tour agency, one advertisement showed slashed prices on tour destinations, and there was a phrase “For the first 50 customers only” at the corner of the advertisement.

The advertisement definitely utilised the low-ball and scarcity techniques. The low-ball technique is a strategy to increase compliance, in which something is offered at a given price, only to be increased after an agreement of the original price. People would be enticed by the affordable price shown on the newspaper, but upon reaching the agency for more details on the tour package, they would realise that there are hidden costs attached to the price shown on the newspaper. And when the costs add up in the end, it’ll result in a price slightly higher than what is offered in the newspaper.

According to the low-ball technique reasoning, it could be that due to a desire for consistency, customers would follow through with their decision despite the change in price. That is because they might fear that they would look inconsistent if they did not follow through with the deal. When they decide to go on a holiday, and go through the process of making a decision about taking up the package, they would have made a private and public commitment to the package as explained by the post-decisional dissonance theory. They would then resort to justifying the final price with favourable attitudes like “Oh, it’s only a couple of hundred dollars more.” Or “This is probably the best package deal now.” .

Another method tour agencies employ to entice customers was the phrase “For the first 50 customers only”. This phrase demonstrates the scarcity technique that could further entice the customer to sign up the package. It increases the attractiveness of the package by making it appear rare. The reasoning is that people often want what they can’t have. If customers think they may not be able to get the better deal, then they would really want the deal. According to the reactance theory to explain the scarcity technique, it seems that the grass is greener on the other side. Their freedom to have that good deal is threatened as it is limited to only the first 50 customers, therefore, in response, they would be more attracted to the deal.

Being helpful.

2008-04-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

This entry is a simple and clean cut example of altruism.

Jocelyn, my fellow classmate, and I were walking towards Orchard MRT station when a lady approached us for directions to Wisma Atria. We gave her the directions and she walked on ahead. Awhile later, we encountered her again and sensing that she was probably unsure where to walk, we directed her again. Having seen her exit at the right exit towards Wisma Atria, we walked towards the card reader to be on our way home.

An altruistic motivation is when one provides help to another for the benefit of the other person. The goal of altruism is motivated out of concern for the other person’s welfare, not for the gain of oneself. We gave her directions purely out of goodwill and not expecting anything in return from her. We gave her directions the second time as well though she did not ask it of us. Our goal was to make sure she exited from the right exit, out of concern that she will walk the wrong way and not get to her destination on time.

Although we didn’t expect anything from her in return, but out of courtesy and politeness, she could have said a simple thank you to us. It's simply rude not to, don't you think?

Does size really matter?

2008-04-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

“When you’re slim, you’re more pleasant on the eye. When you’re big, people think: slow and lazy.”

This statement was made by Mr James Li, who is 1.7m tall and weighs 110kg.

The topic of obesity was brought up in Saturday’s edition of The Straits Times. Not only does obesity bring about health risks like diabetes and heart disease, it also carries a stigma of social stereotypes along with it.

According to the report, obese people get the shorter end of the stick in the working world as appearances count and many who were interviewed, believed that if they were slimmer they would be able to get a job much easier and get far in their career. In the case of Mr Shukor, he was receiving a low salary but was asked by the company to leave while on unpaid medical leave. Since then, he has applied for many jobs but has been unsuccessful and he has attributed this to his medical conditions and obesity.

Some obese people were also compared to and given differential treatment by family members. One mother compared an obese girl with her slimmer and prettier sister, causing her to be depressed and resort to self-harm. Another told her daughter to sleep on the floor because “she was fat, she didn’t need a mattress”.

Very often, these problems lead to psychological problems like low self-esteem, depression and high body dissatisfaction. Self esteem refers to an individual’s evaluation of oneself and is conceptualised as an attitude toward the self.

Personal experiences with people who put them down would most likely cause them to develop unfavourable beliefs about themselves and develop negativity about their self worthiness. Parents are an important source for such experiences – the abovementioned girl who harmed herself cut her wrists because of the hurtful comparison her mother did between her and her slimmer and prettier sister. Similarly, in schools and social circles, obese people get comments about their size and after much negativity surrounding their weight, they may start to internalise the labels given to them by their family and people around them.

As slimmer people are portrayed to be the better looking type, obese people could feel socially rejected by people around them, leading them to develop self-doubts and low self esteem. It is more difficult for them to get successful job offers than their slimmer counterparts, these social comparisons causing them to feel that they fall below others, thus decreasing their self-esteem levels. Those with low self-esteem do not expect to succeed, as reported in the article of an obese man’s opinion that he believe that obese people like him would not be able to go far in their career due to their size.

Much of the time, we view people based on first impression. The media has portrayed slimmer people to be smarter and better looking, while obese people to be lazy, slow and not so good looking. Some people put them down, dishing out insensitive comments, never considering about their feelings. It seemed that being obese is wrong. However, beneath their exterior, it is not true that all obese people are slow and dull. Similarly, not all slim people are smart. People probably judge too quickly and refuse to give obese people a chance to display their capabilities.

I believe some company bosses are not slim either, and yet they are very successful because it is their brains that matter not the size of their body. Similarly, obese people should not be judged by their size but their capabilities.

Families also play a part. Instead of commenting on their size, they can be supportive and help them find ways to cut down the weight. Sometimes, the lifestyle the parents subject them to play a part – like the food they eat at home, causing their weight to balloon. So how can the families turn around and comment so insensitively that they are obese?

Obese people are just like any of us. They should have an equal chance in everything they do. If they are very intelligent and is a model student, does size matter?

Looking but not helping.

2008-03-28T23:53:00.000-07:00

In 1964, Kitty Genovese was brutally stabbed and murdered outside her apartment by a stranger. There were thirty eight witnesses. And no one did a thing to help the poor lady, whose life was slowly but surely ebbing away.

When she was being attacked, her cries of help broke the silence of the night and a few lights went on in nearby apartments. Throughout the half hour ordeal, witnesses heard her pleas for help and looked out of their windows, but none of them rendered help in any way. Only when the attacker had left, did someone finally call for the police. Even so, that particular caller had consulted his friend first before he decided to call the police.

When interviewed by the media, many witnesses gave reasoning like they thought that it was a lovers’ quarrel or they were afraid. Some said that they didn’t want to get involved.

If any of them had even called the police when the attack started, she would have been able to live and the attacker nabbed because the police only needed a mere two minutes to reach the scene.

This case clearly displays bystander effect. The bystander effect is defined as the decrease in likelihood that someone will intervene in an emergency in the presence of increasing number of bystanders. The witnesses all heard or saw her being attacked but they did not do anything to intervene. She did not receive any help because the witnesses probably thought that someone amongst them would intervene. Thus, the likelihood that someone would actually help decreased. They would not want to misinterpret the event that they have witnessed. When they saw that others were not offering help, they probably thought that it was not an emergency. They probably did not want to make a fool of themselves by going out to investigate the matter, lest it really turned out to be just a lovers’ quarrel. They would then feel that they were prying into private matters by investigating.

There was possibly also a diffusion of responsibility as they did not feel the responsibility to intervene as there were so many others around. Some claimed that they were afraid, which can be rational as they could get hurt if they confronted the man. However, bystander apathy still occurred in these people as they did not call for help from the comfort of their homes.

Even in Singapore, bystander effect is also shown as seen from reports of assault in our media. We hear of employers abusing their maids and no help were offered to these maids from the surrounding people. People probably showed a reluctance to intervene as it was their family matter and they were disciplining their own maids. They would probably be seen as busybodies if they showed concern.

We could probably be more proactive in our approach to helping others even if we could be labelled as nosey parkers. If it were a real emergency, wouldn’t it be better to save a precious life rather than to regret for not helping later on?

Just imagine for a moment – if you were the victim, what would you hope the bystanders do?

Seeking a companion in foreign bride agencies.

2008-03-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

There has been an increasing trend of Singaporean men employing the services of foreign bride agencies in a bid to seek their lifelong companion. According to a The Straits Times article in 2006, the Department of Statistics reported that 6,520 male Singaporeans and permanent residents married foreign brides in 2005, this figure being increased by more than a thousand from 2004’s figure of 5,210 and 2003’s number of 4,425.

So, why are Singaporean men looking at foreign bride agencies to find love and marriage? Are Singaporean women not of marriage material?

Some of the reasons given by men for marrying foreign brides over Singaporean women were that Singaporean women are too demanding and have high expectations of them. In a recent article in Lifestyle, it is reported that though women strive for equality in most aspects of their life, like at work, ultimately they would still like to be pampered by men. Most women expect their boyfriends to pay on dates, send them home after a date and open doors for them. In a nutshell, local men find local women a materialistic bunch. In comparison, foreign brides are more accommodating and docile towards the men. Men feel that these foreign brides would be able to put their husbands and families first before all.

Another factor that could attribute to this trend would be stress from work, leaving them with little time to date and with the availability of foreign bride agencies, getting a bride of choice would not be much of a hassle.

Traditionally, matchmaking agencies have catered to men with lower academic qualifications. However, they are seeing more and more diploma and degree holders in recent years, with seven out of ten holding a bachelor’s degree or higher. Such a case was Mr Yeo, who has a bachelor’s degree from an Australian university, works as interior design and part-time lecturer. He sought the help of a Vietnam bride agency as he felt that he was at a disadvantage with local women due to his short stature and looks, even though he had a decent resume to boot.

It is shown from singles statistics that there is an educational mismatch between men and women here, with men clustered at the lower end while women on the higher end of the educational ladder. There is also a tendency of women to "marry up" and men to "marry down". Thus, it is inevitable that men will look to the region to find their soul mates instead of local women.

A possible explanation for this rising trend could be that the men are stereotyping local women. Stereotyping occurs when an individual believes that people of a certain category share particular attributes. Men assume and categorise local women, labelling that their expectations are too high for them to fulfil and that they are too demanding, thus they would rather seek love from foreign bride agencies.

As Mr Yeo commented further, he did not think that local women would be interested in him and he assumed that they would only be interested in handsome guys, thus showing that local men like Mr Yeo are stereotyping local women without even trying to date one yet. Local men have this stereotypical outlook that girls from developing countries would be simple, thrifty and embody all the traditional values that a woman should have. Some foreign bride agencies have pictures of the potential brides on their websites; men can also choose the bride who is aesthetically pleasant to their eyes.

When this stereotype of local women is set, perceivers (referring to local men) would seek out elements to confirm their stereotype. Women expecting men to pay for dates, drive cars, give them a comfortable life, send them home after dates and initiating celebrating of special occasions – these factors reinforce the stereotype local men have of local women. By reinforcing the stereotype, all the more they would be encouraged to seek a more accommodating wife from foreign bride agencies.

Sexism still very much prevails in such modern times. From the old-fashioned sexism aspect, men believe that women are inferior to men no matter what, and that they should be able to fulfil traditional gender roles. In the modern sexism aspect, men hold ambivalent attitudes towards women. They like women and want to “protect” the women in their lives, yet they also develop hostile attitudes towards women who violate the traditional stereotype, such as feminists. As our women get better education here and abroad, as they get more westernised in their ways, their thinking change to become more sophisticated. Local women become more independent and assertive. Men would like to love these women, but because their thinking violate traditional mold of a woman, men develop hostile attitudes towards local women, going away feeling that the women are demanding and cannot be a suitable wife for them. However, foreign brides would fit the bill because men believe that they still possess the simplicity and values of the traditional woman.

In my opinion, it may be that some women are materialistic but not all local women are like this. Local men should really get down to knowing local women better before making any judgements. Local men should have more confidence in themselves, not letting the modern ways of the women intimidate them into not dating them and seeking love elsewhere. It will not be easy to find a soul mate but there is hope for the local men.